I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
