When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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