It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
