Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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