So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize