i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
