Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
