is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
