I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
