They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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