you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
