Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just cropdusted the office
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
