i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
