After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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