you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
