So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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