Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
