I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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