Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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