All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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