There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Houston, we have a blender
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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