So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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