O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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