We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
