now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
