vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
