I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
