but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
