Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
