when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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