And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
