i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
