I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
