I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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