Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
