would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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