I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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