Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
