i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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