please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
