just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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