i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
