Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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(615): View more from Tennessee

we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I love you more than champagne and correct grammar

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(708): View more from Illinois

We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself

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(903): View more from Texas

Han Solo would be ashamed of me.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.

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(469): View more from Texas

Where is everybody?

(214): View more from Texas

It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.

(250): View more from British Columbia

Now that's what I call smart money management.

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