My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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