Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
is it fun? or sober?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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