yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize