I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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