not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
