Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize