Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
