aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
