i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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