either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
