It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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