she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
