Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
