NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize