ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
She has my name on her bucket list. Iβm either getting laid or killed
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