it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize