He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
